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  • Two New York Yankee Fans ran for President this week.
  • Everyone seems to want Derek Holland it seems like Derek Holland is playing real cute with everyone, despite the fact that he was ABYSMAL THIS YEAR IN TEXAS. The Pirates have expressed interest and Holland is apparently interested in the Pirates as well. If I see them kissing by the lockers during sixth period I will let everyone know.
  • Jose Bautista officially passed on the Qualifying Offer from Toronto. The Mets have reached out to him, so I’m sure he’s already begun regretting his decision to turn down Toronto.
  • Aroldis Chapman wants $100 million dollars and he’s an idiot for thinking he could get that in a contract, but he might get it because… wait…. what… why would that be a thing? Can people stop entertaining that idea?!

  • Mark Melancon has received some interested from the Colorado Rockies. The interest is apparently mutual between Melancon and Colorado. Melancon’s ERA has refused to comment.
  • The New York Mets are apparently shopping Jay Bruce around in the hopes they sign Cespedes and don’t have to have him on their team. The Blue Jays want Bruce as a Left-Handed platoon with Melvin Upton, Jr. Whether or not the Jays will give up their top pitching prospect and top catching prospect is unknown at this time. If that joke is lost on you, take a look at this.
  • Howie Kendrick was traded to the Phillies for Darin Ruf and Darnell Sweeney. Great trade for both sides. Super even.

  • Tomo Okha is trying to make a comeback to the majors as a knucleballer. If he does we will have two former Expos playing in the league at the same time since 2015.

  • The Braves made a big splash by signing two Ex-New York Mets and two Former Cy Young Winners. Not four pitchers, just two! R. A. Dickey and Bartolo Colon. FUN FACT: Bartolo Colon made his MLB debut with the same day that Turner Field, the now defunct home of the Braves, opened. His first home game for Atlanta will be in their new stadium. BARTOLO COLON OUTLASTED A STADIUM.
  • The MLB has decided to destroy the Cleveland Indians World Series Champion Merchandise instead of donating it. This is probably because of two reasons. 1) You don’t want it to find it’s way onto the marketplace, and 2) the insensitive logo. In a weird way, Cleveland did the MLB a favor. If the Cubs had lost, the amount of merchandise would have been astronomical. They would have had to blast it into outer space. “Daddy, why is the sky blue?” “Well, Jimmy, it’s because the Cubs lost the World Series and we needed to plug a hole in the Ozone layer.”
  • The San Francisco Giants stated that they are sure they will get one of the big name closers this offseason. They also though that they could win the World Series just because it was an even year. Also, if you have 15 minutes, there’s a great 30 for 30 Short about the first Giants Mascot the “Crazy Crab” that is TOTALLY WORTH IT. You can find that here.

  • The Arizona Diamondbacks made slight changes to their uniforms for the 2017, because they’re 2016 ones were SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOD.
  • They weren’t. I was being sarcastic. I’m all about the aqua and purple. All day. Every day.
  • The Red Sox and the Astros are both connected to Free Agent Carlos Beltran. Both teams need a DH, but only one team needs a full baseball team…. Houston. I’m talking about Houston.
  • Justin Verlander has stated that he wouldn’t mind playing in Los Angeles. The NL West could be heard screaming from Nova Scotia.
  • The Baseball Writer’s Association of America 2016 Season Awards will be announced this week. So we’ll see which Mike Trout wins the AL MVP!
  • A lot of heat is being generated by Vince Velasquez from the Phillies. Whether or not he stays with the Phils will determine how long this rebuild lasts.
  • Danny Valencia is no longer trapped in Oakland.
  • Jed Lowrie is now a free agent and can take his tattoos wherever he likes.
  • The Tampa Bay Rays still exist.
  • The Montreal Expos still do not exist.
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