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Disney’s “Godmothered” Needed an NHL Consultant

“Godmothered” is a fun adventure for the whole family. Well, as long as your family does not have any NHL fans in it.

TD Garden in Boston by Marco Verch is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Disney’s “Godmothered” Needed an NHL Consultant

Estimated Reading Time: 5 Minutes

Disney+ recently premiered the movie “Godmothered”. It stars Jillian Bell and Isla Fisher, and follows a fairy godmother-in-training who arrives in Boston to help a reporter find her happily ever after.

It’s pretty good overall, and I would highly recommend it if you have kids and are looking for something (anything) to keep them busy.

However, there is one part I found especially curious and I can’t seem to shake it. And as a reminder, this has happened to me before.

There is a plot point centering around a regular-season NHL game between the Boston Bruins and Las Vegas Golden Knights called “The Cold War Classic”.

I have many, many questions.

Why is it called “The Cold War Classic”?

I think this is supposed to be a play on “The Winter Classic”, but I am not sure why the name needed to be changed. Clearly, this movie had the blessing of the NHL considering the real team names are used (unlike in Disney’s “The Game Plan” with The Rock where the Patriots were renamed the Boston Rebels).

But even if the name had to be changed, “The Cold War” was the best they had?

All NHL games are played at roughly the same temperature.

It’s not like Boston vs. Las Vegas is some type of environmental battle of the superior freezing climate either (Boston wins in a landslide, just like how Vegas has more gambling options). They also make it seem like this is an annual affair, so is it called something else when the game is in Vegas? I’d sign a petition for a sequel to be made if they can guarantee some clarity around this next time.

Lastly, it seems a tiny bit offensive this is referencing the political tensions between the US and Russia that endured for almost 50 years after World War II. That’s weird, right? And if the game is called “The Cold War” that means one of the teams would need to be “the enemy” in this game. This is just more and more uncomfortable the deeper we dig.

“The War on the Ice” seems like a pretty easy pivot, and it doesn’t echo a time when US citizens lived in fear of a nuclear threat from an opposing country.   

Why are the Bruins playing the Golden Knights?

There’s no rivalry or history here. At all. And there is no in-game footage so it’s not like the Golden Knights were in town on the day of filming.

Maybe it’s supposed to be an advertisement for the NHL’s newest franchise (until the Kraken is released). But I don’t think the Golden Knights have an awareness issue that is going to be solved by product placement in a straight-to-streaming Disney movie.

Disney also FOUNDED the Anaheim Ducks in 1993. If we’re just selecting random Western Conference teams then one your company started really feels like the better fit.

Again, there is no gameplay between these two teams shown in the movie. ANY opposing team could have been chosen.

And let’s be honest, with the level of NHL-fandom being what it is right now it could have been that the Bruins were playing the Supersonics and I’d still likely be the only one who cared.

Why is there a tailgate?

As this tweet says, there aren’t Bruins tailgates.

This one is motivated by simple jealousy. The tailgate looks awesome and there seems to be unlimited lobster rolls and clam chowder. I’d love for this to happen, so maybe my question should be, “Why aren’t there Bruins tailgates?”

There is an interesting part where several men appear to be competing in some type of Project Runway-esque event where they all wear the same one-piece bathing suit and do a dance with a hockey stick. However, it seems like there was very little direction given to the participants and this is reflected in the execution as several of the gentlemen perform nearly identical dances. That’s just not how you’re gonna win.

I’ll also say a serious allergic reaction to shellfish is played for laughs during this scene. As someone who has experienced the high level of service Disney World cast members provide when it comes to food allergies in their restaurants, I found this surprising.

Why is a regular season game so important?

The movie takes place roughly a week before Christmas, so this is maybe the 40th game of the season.

Those are not traditionally games that cause the level of news coverage it receives in the film.

It’s just difficult to believe this game really matters all that much. But then again, you could say the same thing about this article.

Why are the Bruins winning 12-0 at the end of the 2nd period?

There is a moment where Bell’s godmother character shoots off some magic from her wand during the tailgate. This likely carried over to the Bruins performance in the game as we later see they are winning 12-0 after two periods.

We’re supposed to believe the magic carried the roughly half-mile distance to the TD Garden from City Hall Plaza AND also just kind of hung out until puck drop (the tailgate is clearly mid-day and the game is at night)? Now through some fancy editing they make it seem like TD Garden is right next to the tailgate, but this is still not the easiest thing to move past. Then again, magic is magic, so it’s fine.

But why do the B’s need to be up 12-0?! This is a ludicrous score. This is on pace to beat the previous records for total team goals in a game (16 by the Montreal Canadiens in 1920) and margin of victory (15 by the Detroit Red Wings in 1944).

This also feels like my reactions are a bit much at this point, so my final question is…

Why am I like this?

Terry is from Massachusetts and is a passionate fan of the Patriots, Celtics, Red Sox and Bruins. He also will admit he only pays attention to Syracuse basketball when they're good. If there's a Twitter trade rumor even remotely associated with one of his teams, he's likely fallen for it. Finally, he believes 100% that if the Celtics had beaten the Heat in the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals they would have swept the Thunder in the Finals.

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