Hello friends! In a world where there’s a lot of stress and deeply troubling things going on, I just wanted to pop in and try to lighten up your day a little. Here at the Turf, We. Cover Everything. And this definitely falls under the “everything” category.
Without getting too heavy here, I think we can all agree that women’s bodies fall under massive scrutiny from the outside world. Well, I am here to flip the script and put men under the same microscope that women are viewed through almost constantly. It’s going to be fun. I can’t say where or when my love and appreciation of male athlete’s backsides started exactly but I do know it’s something that both Tina Belcher and I feel strongly and passionately about.
So without further ado, I give you my Top 5 sports for appreciating the “rear view”…
Out of all the sports on this list, we spend the majority of the game staring at the players butts, if for no other reason than the way the game is played. Every set of plays starts in a crouch or a squat, so it would be reasonable to expect that we would have something decent to stare at. And then there’s the pants…..they certainly help. The pants combined with the broad frame created by the pads is a winning combination and tends to draw the eye down to the posterior area.
The only reason football sits at number 5 for me is that the range of body types is just so wide. And this is no shade towards some of the bigger linemen because let’s be honest, their size is what has made them successful, but it doesn’t always translate to having a nice bottom half. But again I say….the pants are just so great. You can’t help but look.
4. Figure Skating
I know some of you are thinking….that’s an interesting choice?? But think about it for a moment. Skaters are basically in a plié at all times. And they use their legs and abs to propel them up into the air for jumps. Also factor in if they are a pairs skater they are throwing and lifting women into the air. Essentially they are a ballet dancer on skates. Don’t even get me started on ballet butts because…..WOW.
This one goes wayyyyyy back for me. I was probably about 12 and I was at a Tigers game with my parents and for once we were not sitting in the nosebleeds. We had great seats right on the 3rd baseline right at the infield/outfield border and for whatever reason, I turned to mom and said: “I like their pants”. Much like football that is when my love affair with baseball pants began. And they don’t usually let me down. Now similar to football, not every pair is a home run but when they’re good they’re great. (I’m looking at you Brett Gardner, Justin Verlander, Daniel Murphy, and Giancarlo Stanton).
As someone who played for almost 15 years straight, I still have tree trunk thighs that will probably never go anywhere. Having just spent a lot of time watching the World Cup I regained my appreciation for soccer booties. I’ve always admired their rears. I think soccer players are among the fittest athletes around. It’s 2 hours of non-stop running back and forth. They might not have the biggest muscles but I can guarantee that there is not an ounce of fat on these guys. Every inch of their body is lean muscle and that just helps to accentuate their beautiful backsides.
As I talked about recently in a Breaking Angles, I spent A LOT of time watching Wimbledon starting with Federer and Anderson’s epic 5 set battle. Another thing I spent a lot of time watching was the players backsides and let me just tell you that on that topic there is a lot of glorious-ness to watch. I’ve been missing out by not starting to watch sooner. Similar to soccer players they are constantly on the move and start in a squat. How could this not be a more perfect combination?! I really couldn’t look away. Nor did I want to. While doing some very important image research for this piece I even found a twitter account devoted to Rafael Nadal’s “famous ass”. So there you go.
I’m sure there will be those of you who disagree with my placements or thought I left something out and that is your perogative. Butt (see what I did there) I’m sure you will now be watching with a little bit of a different viewpoint, am I right?? Also you’re welcome for all these beautiful views.
And I know I said this piece was going to focus on the male form but how can you NOT include Serena in this……All hail the Queen!!