It’s Halloween Weekend and we have two whole nights to watch as many scary movies as possible before Sunday’s games.
Here are some spooky flick recommendations based on which NFL game they are most similar to.
New England Patriots at Buffalo Bills (-4) = “IT”
Pennywise comes out to wreak havoc on a small Maine town every 27 years. If the Patriots lose it will be their first four-game losing streak in 18 years, which will also upset the citizens of Maine.
Tennessee Titans (-6) at Cincinnati Bengals = “Friday the 13th”
When something bad happens, like an accident involving your son or losing a heartbreaker to the Steelers, this can lead to someone taking their revenge. This could be either on a group of unsuspecting teens at a lake or an unsuspecting #1 pick in his rookie season who’s just trying to stay upright.
Las Vegas Raiders at Cleveland Browns (-2.5) = “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”
Leatherface and Baker Mayfield, two dudes who love seeing the people of Texas in pain.
Indianapolis Colts (-3) at Detroit Lions = “Scream”
No matter the outcome (Bears game / Falcons game), the Lions make their fans shriek one way or another.
Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers (-6.5) = “Hereditary”
Being a Vikings fan is something passed on from generation to generation, even if the younger generations don’t necessarily want that to be the case. Kind of like a Satanic possession!
And Vikings fans probably all feel this way about the 2020 season:
New York Jets at Kansas City Chiefs (-19.5) = “A Quiet Place”
There is no reason to talk about this game, even if we don’t need to worry about sound monsters (or were they aliens?).
Los Angeles Rams (-3.5) at Miami Dolphins = “Get Out”
Tua Tagovailoa is all excited because he’s now the Dolphins starter and things are great. Kind of like if you visited your girlfriend’s parents and they seem nice enough.
But Tua doesn’t realize the Miami offensive line is trash and he’s gonna get sacked into the sunken place.
Pittsburgh Steelers at Baltimore Ravens (-4) = “The Grudge”
“I tell ya when these two teams face each year it’s the definition of a Grudge Match!”
This is a lazy choice, but it’s also Friday afternoon.
Los Angeles Chargers at Denver Broncos = “28 Days Later”
The zombies caused by a virus movie is the most fitting here for a game that currently does not have a betting line due to a positive COVID test.
New Orleans Saints (-4.5) at Chicago Bears = “Halloween”
The Bears offense is slow and plodding, but still can sneak up on you at the last moment and slash you in the heart (ask the Lions or Bucs).
Just like how Michael Myers has done in Illinois over several films.
San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks (-3) = “A Nightmare on Elm Street”
There’s no defense when someone can attack you in a dream.
Just like how there’s no defense when you play the Seahawks.
Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles (-9) = “US”
Two underperforming NFC East teams square off! It’s like looking in a mirror!
Just wait until we do this for Hallmark Christmas movies in Week 15!
- / 1 year ago
To me, Rachel Nichols is the personification of posting a black square on Instagram.