I missed last week. I had a tooth extracted. Everyone reading this go brush your teeth. Right now. Then come back and read it. You’ll thank me later. Also, I got engaged two weeks ago. They aren’t related at all, but I think it’s pretty much the best thing and I thought I’d share. Let’s get into the hot takes.
Zlatan ??♂️ (That’s a face palm emoji if it doesn’t show up in your browser)
Okay. On the first of April we included Zlatan in our Sunday Morning Musing post for scoring two unbelievable goals in his MLS debut. Go back and watch them again. They’re good. It was just part of Zlatan doing Zlatan things. The problem is Zlatan doing Zlatan things also has a flip side to the coin. Just watch:
— Major League Soccer (@MLS) May 21, 2018
Let’s unpack this for a second. Zlatan has about 11 inches and 60 pounds on Michael Petrasso, who barely touches the top of Zlatan’s foot backpedalling. This “earns” a slap to the head from the Galaxy striker and then they are both on the ground doing the whole, “I’m hurt and a soccer player” acting thing. In one of the few instances of VAR working, Zlatan was sent off with a red card and will miss an important game on Friday against San Jose for his antics. But his antics were well known before LA signed him, and when you go for a big personality like the Zlatan Ibrahimović’s of the world, this is the risk you take. Ultimately, this move is going to back fire on my MLS club I fear.
On Monday night, Walker Buehler took a 108 line drive to the ribs, completed the out and then fell to the ground in visible pain. I know this, because I was at the game. Something else I know because I was at the game is that this kid is the future of the Dodger’s rotation. He had a no hitter going into the 5th, gave up a home run and then got drilled by Trevor Story. He stayed in the game until the 7th. Unreal. He made Nolan Arenado so frustrated he did this:
— Fabian Ardaya (@FabianArdaya) May 22, 2018
So naturally, the rumor is the Orioles want him as the trade piece for Manny Machado. Who is admittedly raking right now. But if the Dodger’s do this they will be leveraging the future for the present and that’s going to blow up in their faces worse that Zlatan is going to blow up in the Galaxy’s. Kershaw has been hurt consistently lately, and none of the other pitchers the club has matched the raw talent this kid shows. Do the right thing Dodgers. Just say no to Machado.
One and Done for Judge’s HR Crown
If you go back and read the history of this column, you will find that I have not bought into the Aaron Judge hype. Part of that is because he’s a Yankee, and therefore instantly overhyped, and partly because I think his talent level is not sustainable. He recently announced that he would not be defending his Home Run Derby title this All Star Break, and to that I say, why? You are in your second season. You’ve made claims that the Derby was in no way responsible for your slump post ASG last year. The only way to prove that claim is to participate and then not slump.
Also, give the fans what they want. My biggest complaint with LeBron James was that he never blessed us with a Slam Dunk Contest appearance post high school. I will be forever salty about that. Your greatest strength is your strength for hitting a ball out of park. Give the people what they want or they may not continue to put up with your stupid “All Rise” schtick.
The NFL ??♂️ (Again, face palm)
— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) May 22, 2018
Read that headline. Let it sink in. The owners of the NFL are actually considering a 15-yard penalty on the opening kickoff if players kneeling during the National Anthem? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? First off, what the fuck old white dudes. Second, what if both teams kneel? Is it 15-yards per player? Are you all morons? I… I just can’t.
Speaking of dumb things involving the NFL:
The Cleveland Browns are Going to be featured on HBO’s Hard Knocks
I give up.
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