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Hump Day Hot Takes: Opening Week Edition

The first of a (possible) weekly installment of hot takes and recaps from a Detroit boy living in California.

Madison Bumgarner by Arturo Pardavilla III is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Hump Day Hot Takes: Opening Week Edition

Estimated Reading Time: 3 Minutes

It’s Wednesday. Which I’m told is the middle of the week. (I work in theatre so my schedule isn’t standard) The season is a whole 3 days old. I think this is a perfect time for some hot takes. Let’s begin, shall we?

Madison Bumgarner is not human. 
Just listen to the sound of these HRs from Sunday.

RELATED: Madison Bumgarner will only win games if he completes them himself.

The Braves might be one of the most fun teams in MLB
I mean, how can they not be? There two big free agent signings are a combined 85 years old. And one of them is Bartolo. And the other is R.A. Dickey. And they have A.I. recreating his infamous press conference, except to talk about parking. No, really.

Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, Roughned Odor???
Smelly McPunch-punch (my pet name for Mr. Odor) blasted 2 HRs off Cory Kluber on Monday. It was unexpected because the Rangers commentators spent more time talking about the pine tar on his new helmet than about his stroke, but whatever. Meanwihle, Harper managed to hit his 5th Opening Day HR which makes him 5 for 5 in Opening Day games with HRs.

Byron Buxton made the season’s first 5 star catch and another diving catch…

because he misplayed the ball off the bat. Seriously, quit making a big deal about this, he plays for the Twins.

And don’t get me started about the idea of Under Armor putting their logo of the chests of jerseys come 2020. NO.

Yoenis Cespedes is still using the Circle Of Life from Lion King as his walk up music.
And it’s still the best thing ever.

At their current rate, the Tigers and White Sox will finish their opening series sometime in mid August.
Two rainouts in 3 days? I just want to watch my Tigers. Ugh.

Guaranteed Rate Field is the dumbest stadium name in the history of dumb stadium names.
And their logo is a big red down arrow. Good omen there Chicago.

Give Javier Baez the Gold Glove now. 

Poor Albert Amora Jr. had the defensive highlight of the game for about half a minute.

Thor has a blister.
Let us observe a moment of silence for all the panicking Mets fans out there, especially the ones that write for this blog.

David Ross’s Dancing With The Stars routines are scaring Anthony Rizzo
This isn’t really a hot take, but something I find immensely entertaining. I mean, look at it.

Andrew Mark Wilhelm is a professional Sound Engineer/Designer, and amateur photographer, writer, musician who recently relocated from California to Rochester, NY. Born and raised in the suburbs of Detroit has made Andrew an avid fan of all things Detroit but nothing more so than his beloved Detroit Tigers. Every year he tells himself he won't drink the Lions Kool-Aid, and every year winds up heartbroken come January. A Spartan by heart, and a Golden Grizzly by degree, you can catch his (almost) weekly Hot Takes every Hump Day here at The Turf.

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