Hyun-Jin Ryu came thiiiiiiiiis close to winning the 2019 National League Cy Young Award. If it weren’t for an absolutely abysmal August, he’d be taking the hardware home with him. And now, that home is north of the border.

After taking a qualifying offer from the Dodgers ahead of the last season, Ryu signed a 4-year, $80 million deal with the Toronto Blue Jays. Is that an overpay? Eh, who cares. The Blues have gone from AL East Powerhouse to a Quad-A baseball team in a matter of years. Adding Ryu doesn’t fix their problems, but it softens the blow of losing almost all of their big stars.

That’s not to say the Blue Jays don’t have stars, in fact, they have something better: The SONS OF STARS. With Vladimir Guerrero, Jr., Cavan Biggio and Bo Bichette headlining the 2020 Toronto roster, the Jays are building a future, which is more than some other AL East teams can say.

However, Ryu’s signing with Toronto isn’t why he’s a hero. It’s something else. Something far more incredible.

It’s this:

I cannot get over this quote. Hyun-Jin Ryu is the Kevin Malone of Major League baseball, except he’s good at baseball and somehow an equally skilled accountant.

The fact that Ryu, who is a portly pitcher from South Korea, is literally making conditioning a run out the clock situation, is the best thing I’ve learned today.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Hyun-Jin Ryu is getting paid millions of dollars to play a sport at the highest professional level, so he should be putting in the work.” I hear you, for sure, However, I’d like to point out that Bartolo Colon had a career that was 21 years of pure pitching greatness and he did the back 10 years with his own gravitational pull. If Aliens landed on Earth from the years 2003-2018, you would have to tell them that Bartolo Colon was an elite athlete.

That’s the law.

I mean, when have you ever seen a pitcher leg one out to first base? Never. It doesn’t happen. If anything, a pitcher running at full speed is a safety risk for everyone involved.

I mean, really though, running sucks. I can run to an ice cream truck and away from an ice cream truck, that’s all I really need to do. Running sucks. That’s a fact.

So here’s to you, Hyun-Jin Ryu! Why run 26 seconds, when 35 seconds do trick?