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No Cap Recap: The Pirates Offseason Outlook? Perfect if You Hate Excitement!

It’s been a crazy offseason in MLB so far, but the Pirates are mostly sitting on the sideline, which isn’t surprising at all to Pirates fans.

PNC Park by David Mark is in the Public Domain

No Cap Recap: The Pirates Offseason Outlook? Perfect if You Hate Excitement!


Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes

You want a quick overview of this Pittsburgh Pirates offseason? They signed a bunch of guys you don’t know, and traded away the few you do. 2022 attendance will stink, they will stink, and they will maybe crack the 60 win mark.

You want an overview of the 2023 Pittsburgh Pirates offseason? They’ll sign a bunch of guys you don’t know and trade away the few you do. 2023 attendance will stink, they will stink, and they will maybe crack the 60 win mark.

You want a quick overview of the 2024 Pittsburgh Pirates offseason? They’ll sign a bunch of guys you don’t know and trade away the few you do. 2024 attendance will stink, they will stink, and they will maybe crack the 60 win mark.

Rinse and Repeat

While the Mets signed Max Scherzer and the Tigers inked Javier Báez, the Pirates are reupping Ben Gamel. That’s our big move, alongside signing Jose Quintana, who is well past his prime. That play would’ve been good back in 2016. Why do we even care about these moves? If these guys stink, they’re perfect fits. If they’re good, they won’t be Pirates next year.

Pirates fans when they hear about an offseason signing

Frankly, I’m shocked Bryan Reynolds is still with the team. Someone who finished 4th in the Rookie of the Year voting in 2019 and was an All-Star selection in 2021 has no business on this team. If I’m a betting man, I’d say he’s gone by season’s start. I certainly hope a deal to the Yankees or Mariners goes through for his sake. We’ll take whatever prospects they want for a few seasons, send them through to Bradenton or Altoona, and maybe they’ll catch a few games at PNC Park before they make their full swing through our revolving door system. And Reynolds will get a chance on a real team that takes baseball seriously.

That’s really where we are as Pirates fans. We lock onto a player we like. We hope they do well enough to earn a Gold Glove, or a Silver Slugger award, an All-Star game appearance, or a killer ERA. So that management will ship them off, and they will have a chance at a better life.

The Better Lives Club

Charlie Morton: Pitched in 4 World Series games, winning 2 rings with the Astros (2017) and Braves (2021).

Gerrit Cole: Pitched in 2 World Series games, currently at the top of the rotation pitching for the New York Yankees.

Tyler Glasnow: Pitched in 2 World Series games.

Austin Meadows: Played in 6 World Series games.

The list of players can go on and on, but you get it.

The Pirates could build the best rotation in baseball with just the arms they have dealt away in the last 5 years alone.

Gerrit Cole (traded 2018)
Tyler Glasnow (Traded 2019)
Charlie Morton (Traded 2015)
Jameson Taillon  (Traded 2021)

Round out the rotation with a dealer’s choice of Joe Musgrove (2021), Jordan Lyles (2019), or J.A. Happ (left as a FA in 2015)

2013-2015: A Happy Accident

Pittsburgh was rockin with “Buctober” fever from 2013-2015. The town finally thought the organization had pulled themselves out of their 21-year funk and turned a corner. Andrew McCutchen was their All-Star, Gerrit Cole was their Ace, Gregory Polanco was a hot young prospect, and they had complimentary bats and gloves all around the diamond. Josh Harrison, Francisco Cervelli, Starling Marte to name just a few. We even had young prospects waiting in the wings in Jameson Taillon, Tyler Glasnow, Josh Bell and Austin Meadows.

All management had to do was invest, and not trade away……

Damnit!

We were had!

That Happy Accident that led to 3 “Buctober” births. But it was just that. An accident. A few projects all hit at the right time in the bigs. A few second tier castoffs from other teams played above expectation. But the end result was always going to be, trade away your cheap stars before you have to pay them. And ship your projects off the same way. Some 5 losing seasons later, we’re back to where we started. Back to our revolving door system and our losing ways.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in Pittsburgh—Bob Nutting has sold you out!

Christian is husband, father and video editor working in New York City. Originally from the Greater Pittsburgh Area he is a life long fan The Steelers, Penguins and Pirates as well as Professional Wrestling.

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