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Welcoming The Weekend With Angel Hernandez Being Awful

Oh Angel, our Angel

Angel Hernandez by Keith Allison is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Welcoming The Weekend With Angel Hernandez Being Awful


Estimated Reading Time: 2 Minutes

You made it! It’s finally the end of another work week. Sure, the weekend has lost a bit of its luster lately, but no work is still no work, even if it is just sitting at home doing nothing. I mean, unless you have kids or a family or responsibilities and if so, that’s a “you” problem.

Baseball is back! I guess it has been for a while, but time no longer matters and we’re all gonna do eventually anyways! With our beautiful game returning, not only do we get the home runs, the stellar defensive plays and the nasty strikeouts; we also get the Gawd Angel Hernandez.

The bats might be slow to catch up with the pitching but Angel Hernandez is in midseason form right out the gate. The man has never seen a call he can’t botch, a strike zone that is consistent, or a view of what’s happening that even remotely comes close to what the rest of the world sees. I love him.

Let’s watch some more of the man work.

He is the Picasso of fucking up.  The DaVinci of dumbassary.  His ability to see what is not there is unparalleled.  We are witnessing a legend.

I hope our Angel Angel never leaves us. The day we sadly put him in the ground I fully expect him to rise like the Phoenix to return and ruin the game-day experience with the power of a thousand suns.  Even when they inevitably switch to robot umpires I hope they are all instilled with Angel Hernandez’s consciousness. Future generations need to be able to appreciate this genius as we have had the pleasure of viewing for oh so many years.

Keep on screwing up, sweet prince.  I hope I go long before you do, Angel. God bless you and yours.

P.S. I love you.

Josh grew up in the midwest and upon graduating from the University of Iowa he wanted to see the world. After 4 years in Jacksonville he decided he was cultured enough and moved on to Birmingham England (known to the locals as the Detroit of the UK) and then west to San Francisco before settling in NYC. He pays his bills working in finance making sure the 1% remains on top. When he is not selling his soul and unable to look himself in the mirror, he spends his time writing mean things about sports while his dog, Sweet Dee, silently judges from her spot on the couch. He is very biased and never wrong. He would also like to thank Rotowire for never changing their NBA League Pass and MLB.TV passwords from that year when he was an NBA Beat Writer for the Nuggets for some reason.

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