Writer’s Note: Hi, please read the following before you proceed, thank you and I love you.

Baseball is back baby and in a big way! Forget the auteur at-bats of the Dominican Summer League where we get some grainy video of maybe stars hitting bombs off guys you will never see in the bigs. The real spectacle comes in the form of the San Diego Padres constructing a super team this offseason. Opposing GMs are shaking in their spectacles watching, as the Padres make move after move, and seeing how they have put together this powerhouse in the NL West. The Tatis mega–extension itself is worthy of at least two articles for its clubhouse effects and franchise building foresight – specifically for the face of your franchise being locked up for over a decade!

What!?

But being the astute baseball fan that I am I immediately clocked a glaring error in these offseason moves. Where in all the realms is Chun-Li? If there is a battle for the fate of the National League West then don’t we need all the greatest players gathered, which would include Chun-Li and her spinning bird kick that can knock a man’s head clean off? Sounds like a pretty big omission to me that the ultimate baseball prize is supposed to be won by a ragtag team helmed by Yu Darvish, no offense Darvish stans.

Absence of Chun-Li aside, this offseason for the Padres is the dog’s bollocks (a term I learned from reading this article that you can find on Jezebel where if you’re into writers making wild accusations with little to no research backing them up you are in luck) and the extremely shrewd, calculated team construction, which is a super realistic study on how to run an MLB franchise will make it’s debut April 1st. Choose your team GM wisely.