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You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile

Baseball awards were recently handed out. Little did you know that there is a new frontrunner for “most akward smile.” Surprise, Brian Anderson…it’s you.

Brian Anderson by Keith Allison is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile


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Estimated Reading Time: 2 Minutes

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Doesn’t hurt when you have a great one. That, however, is quite the debatable case for Miami Marlins third baseman Brian Anderson.

I don’t think I’ve seen as uncomfortable a smile since, and well to be honest I’ve never seen such an awkward smile. It’s bad, guys. We make one of my best friends from college do what we call her “weird smile” and there’s an un-canny resemblance between the two.

I’ll Let You Be The Judge…

Yeah. Looks like a really great honeymoon bro

He looks like he was dragged kicking and screaming on that honeymoon. I kinda feel bad for his wife. I can only imagine what their gallery wall looks like. But they are clearly in love because she’s included in practically all of his tweets. Big props to her for originality in terms of her twitter handle. I’m sure @thatalexsmith‘s feed might be more interesting than his. And that she has a way more natural smile.

I’m certainly not the only team member to chime in on this. Quite a few of our team members threw in their initially honest thoughts…

“He’s like Ross from Friends.”

“He can’t even enjoy the fruits of his labor.”

“Brian Anderson looks like he’s constantly that temperature where it’s not too hot but it’s also not too cold, but you’re sweating somehow, and like, the AC won’t help, but heat will be worse. He’s like, ya know, early April in NYC.” 

Just for some reference I know a thing or two about smiles. I’ve spent too much time at the dentists office in the last 15 years. Way too much in fact. Although I mostly have myself to blame because what I chose to do is strictly cosmetic I’ve endured enough dental work in 3 decades than most people do in a lifetime.

When I got my veneers done there were two options. 1) Get my gums laser lifted and then put on the veneers or 2) Break my jaw and realign it so that I wouldn’t have so much of my gums showing. Being worried that the second one affect my singing I clearly went with option 1. And thanks to a few recent unfortunate events I’ve gotten to go through the whole process again. Enough about me though.

Flex your muscles…

Because the thing is it’s not even about his teeth though!! It’s that every muscle in his face looks incredibly uncomfortable. As if he’s 100% unsure of his emotions or how to properly convey joy. You’re a major league baseball player!! Between school and playing sports you’ve been getting pictures taken your whole life! And no one has ever helped you work on your smile? I can’t imagine that it was ever good? Maybe at one point his friends and family just gave up trying to help him? I would understand honestly.

Do smile coaches exist? Like, is that a real thing in this world? Because if so, he certainly has the means to be able to afford one and should hire one immediately. Or maybe he should just ask Francisco Lindor for some advice…

Erik Drost [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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