Ketchup is love. Love is ketchup.
It came to light recently, via ESPN, that Kansas City Chiefs rookie quarterback Patrick Mahomes loves ketchup. Actually, “loves” may be an understatement. According to reports, his mother went so far as admitting he would get bottles of it for his birthday. That’s some next level shit. One of my closest friends loves ketchup, but there’s a limit to his madness. According to Yahoo, Mahomes has no limit.
When they say that’s his only flaw, they’re not far off from the truth. His rookie numbers are staggering. The 23-year old leads the NFL in passing touchdowns (31) and passing yards (3,150). He’s been a sniper all year.
From Then to Now
The Chiefs offense went from Travis Kelce being the only non-RB with a TD to Mahomes slinging to EVERYONE. We’re 10 weeks into the season and 11 different players on the Chiefs offense have scored touchdowns. Only Damien Williams and Marcus Kemp have touched the field and not scored for KC, and they have a combined seven touches for 26 yards.
That’s In. Sane.
Mahomes is a huge part of this. His dynamic approach to this offense can only be stopped by Andy Reid tripping over the cord and accidentally unplugging the machine he created. But I digress.
Back to Ketchup
Personally, I’m not a HUGE fan. Let me have a smidge on my burger, but that’s about it. I don’t even dip my fries in it. My time in London conditioned me to dip them in mayo, but that’s another story. Overall, I’m more of a mustard guy. But not yellow mustard. That’s ok in a pinch, but give me some kind of grain mustard all day. Or an aoli.
Putting ketchup on eggs is crazy, but understandable. Macaroni and cheese? I’m judging, but I’ll let it pass. I draw the line at steak. Why desecrate a beautiful piece of meat? This is on par with getting your steak well done. WHY!? Do you enjoy putting all your effort into cutting it up then digesting a hockey puck?! I just shivered thinking about it. A steak should be cooked medium rare with au jus or a peppercorn sauce or a chimichurri. Not ketchup.
I say all this, but you do you, Pat. I may judge you, but if it fuels you to be the phenom you are today? DO IT. It’s a blast watching you play. Don’t be ashamed to ask for it at a restaurant. Wear that ketchup stain on your shirt with pride!
I almost forgot! Heinz upped the ante.
This is some seriously fantastic social media marketing. Shout out to my buddy Sean for sharing this in our group chat. Think about it, though. In 10 games, Mahomes is averaging 3.1 TDs per game. If he keeps that up in the final six, he’s on pace to get about 49. THAT’S SO CLOSE. If he can up that average to about 4.5, he can get 58 TDs and ketchup for life.
What’s in the way of #ketchup4lyfe?
The Chiefs need to play the Rams, Ravens, Chargers, and Seahawks.
It’s going to be a long, tough road.
Seattle has been on a mini resurgence and are playing tough. The Chargers are having a season I didn’t think they were capable of at 7-2. The Ravens, no matter what their record shows, play tough defense and may try to break Mahomes arm because they’re dirty, dirty, birds. Sorry not sorry, Ravens fans. And the Rams are the only other 9-1 team, geared up for the prizefight coming on Monday Night Football in Los Angeles.
You may be thinking to yourself, “but there are six games left and you only mentioned four teams?”. You’re right. That’s because the other two games are against the Oakland Raiders, who don’t stand a chance. Oakland is so bad this year that Mahomes could throw 12 TDs in those two games alone.
Nope. It’s a tall ask. He’s broken records early in the season, but to break the TD record in his rookie year? That’s a stretch. I think he’ll get damn close, but maybe Heinz should keep this open. Let him keep trying. At some point, Mr. Patrick Mahomes is going to find himself with a lifetime supply of ketchup. This year just isn’t that time. But I’m pulling for him. That’s for damn sure.
I leave you with this.
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Tiki Barber is joining the Factory at Kinky Boots!
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It's now or never for a few teams this week.