The NFL has some issues. For the second week in a row, the New England Patriots had a positive COVID-19 test and their game was rescheduled to Monday night because of it. While playing the Chiefs last Monday at 7pm didn’t seem that odd, hosting the Broncos this week at 5pm ET on a Monday feels downright kooky (in more ways than one).
I started thinking how weird it would be if the 2019 version of myself heard the Pats would be playing the Broncos at 5pm on a Monday night. What would I possibly have guessed would be the reason for such an oddity to occur?
So as people do, I went back in time to have a conversation with myself in October, 2019 to see what I think caused such an odd rescheduling.
Then, a day after my spectacular manipulation of the space-time continuum, the Patriots had another positive test and the game is now next Sunday instead of Monday at 5pm.
But just in case you’re curious how the conversation between myselves went, here is a transcript:
2020 Terry: Terry, hello. Thanks so much for coming in. You look great!
2019 Terry: Wow…you do not.
2020 Terry: Yeah, buckle up, 2020 is about to get pretty rough for everybody. Anyways, I have some news to share and then I want to get your reaction. The Patriots are going to play the Broncos this Monday, October 12th, at Gillette and the game is going to be at 5pm.
2019 Terry: 5pm Pacific? Yeah that’s pretty standard. Hardly seems to warrant utilizing time travel to discuss this.
2020 Terry: No, 5pm Eastern.
2019 Terry: Huh? But why?
2020 Terry: Well that’s what we’re going to do here. You have 10 guesses to tell me why this happ…
2019 Terry: Trump.
2020 Terry: Judges?…I’m sorry, we can’t accept that. While many would say that’s correct, there are more specific reasons we are looking for.
2019 Terry: Oh, so is there a debate that night?
2020 Terry: Nope, that’s two. And I’d say you need to really start thinking more outside the box.
2019 Terry: There’s a stadium malfunction and the lights are all broken so they have to play during the daylight?
2020 Terry: No. It also gets dark out at 6pm in October. Bad guess.
2019 Terry: Ok, that’s hurtful. Uh, is there a particularly bad storm coming and it’s going to hit at 9 or 10 so they want to squeeze the game in before?
2020 Terry: When has this ever happened despite all the terrible conditions NFL games have been played in?! Will you take this seriously?! Also, the idea this is being done for the players’ best interest is WAY off.
2019 Terry: Ok! It’s parent-teacher night at Brady’s kids’ school so he has to get out early.
2020 Terry: No, but you’re getting closer.
2019 Terry: That’s closer?! Uh, Kraft has gone power crazy and asked the league to move it up so he can go to bed earlier?
2020 Terry: No, that’s six. Only four left.
2019 Terry: Can I just stop and say this is extremely unsettling?
2020 Terry: Oh yeah, things are not great.
2019 Terry: Is it some new way to punish the Patriots? Like in the 2020 season the team only knows when they’re playing a week in advance and the NFL keeps switching it all around?
2020 Terry: No, and if you could not give the NFL ideas like that, I’d really appreciate it.
2019 Terry: Ok, you said a Monday in October, right? I got it. They are changing Columbus Day to Belichick Day and in the inaugural year they want the game earlier so school children of all ages will be able to view this historic event.
2020 Terry: I gotta say, I like your style. But no. Two more.
2019 Terry: Hmmm. What about Steve Belichick was bit by a werewolf and it’s going to be a full moon that night and the game needs to end before he transforms into a blood thirsty lycanthrope?
2020 Terry: Nope.
2019 Terry: So, explain the haircut then?
2020 Terry: I can’t, but who are we to really talk?
2019 Terry: Touché.
2020 Terry: Last one.
2019 Terry: Hail Mary time.
2020 Terry: Nice.
2019 Terry: There’s a global pandemic and a few Patriots players have contracted it so the NFL has rescheduled the game under the guise of prioritizing player safety, but in reality, it’s probably a cash cow to be adding nationally televised games each week?
2020 Terry: Bingo!
2019 Terry: Oh my God…
2020 Terry: Yep! And your prize is eight months and counting of being stuck indoors, a drinking problem, and Tom Brady is a Buccaneer! Enjoy the game!