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Tom Brady Sucks

Tom Brady should be suspended for such a poor quarterbacking display on Sunday against the Titans. Start Brian Hoyer! Get Jimmy G back!

Tom Brady by Keith Allison is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Tom Brady Sucks

Estimated Reading Time: 6 Minutes

Made ya look! Just like the rest of the national media does when talking about Tom Brady. 

sorry GIF

But now that you’re here, let’s talk about Brady. Yes, Tom is not having an MVP caliber season. Even I, a huge Patriots fan, can admit that. But after New England’s loss to the Titans everyone is acting like the man is Nathan Peterman instead of a top 5 NFL QB. Just check out these real headlines from around the web this week:

  • “The decline of Tom Brady, part XIV: This time it’s really happening” 
  • “Monday Morning Digest: Can the Patriots Survive the Decline of Tom Brady?”
  • “The All-22: Why can’t Tom Brady beat the blitz?”
  • “Tom Brady Keeps Proving Me Wrong When I Say He’s Falling Off A Cliff But At Some Point I’ll Be Right So I’m Jumping On This Take First To Say I Told You So; A Broken Clock Has To Be Right Twice A Day, Right? I’m Lonely and Sad”

Ok, I may have made one of those up. But you can see the media is having a field day after this poor performance. And if the media is jumping to the “Brady is falling off a cliff” take, you know fans are too: 

Brady Has Spoiled Football Fans

There were a lot of issues in Patriots most recent loss to Tennessee. They stunk in all three phases and if there were fourth, fifth and sixth phases they would’ve stunk in those too. But it happens to every team. We’re just not used to it happening to the GOAT and the Patriots offense.

It is so unusual for Brady to have a truly awful game that the national reaction is chaos, panic, and anxiety. And yes, going 21 for 41 with 254 yards is having a bad game for Tommy Terrific. We’re used to the guy throwing for 300 yards, 2 TDs and giving us 10 celebratory fits pumps on the way to a win. Not whatever this is:

In fact we’re not used to a piss poor showing from the Patriots in November or December at all. As pointed out by Patriots beat writer Jeff Howe on Twitter, the game against Tennessee was the most lopsided loss for the Patriots in November or December since 2000.

There is an 18-year-old kid in the Boston suburbs, smoking a cigarette (just kidding, we know he’s vaping) who didn’t know the NFL even allowed Tom Brady to lose by 24 this close to the holidays. Well, now you know, Chad! 

angry tom brady GIF

The Real Problem

This poor performance in Tennessee had nothing to do with Brady falling off a cliff. But it did have everything to do with Tom Brady *takes a deep breath. Mentally prepares self. Takes a shot* making mistakes.

Ok, everyone still with me? That was hard to say. It felt like admitting that your parents aren’t perfect. And to be straight up with my fellow Patriots fans out there: that’s what we need to do. We need to admit that the GOAT is not on his A game 100% of the time. 

“The reality is that I’m trying to find the open guy and I’m trying to throw it to the guy that I think is going to be the most open based on the play we’re running, and what the defense has called. I don’t always do that. I certainly make mistakes on my reads” – Tom Brady on WEEI

His mechanics were fine. Yes, he looked pretty dumb while trying to catch that pass from Edelman and was falling all over himself when his weaponz couldn’t get open, but that’s it.

But What About Noodle Arm?

It isn’t “noodle arm“, which sounds like a super legit medical diagnosis. Do the digging yourself and you’ll find out TB12 had a higher yards gained per passing attempt (Y/A) in this game (6.2) than in the Patriots loss to Detroit in week three (5.12). 

And if this is the beginning of a gradual slide for Brady, why did he average 8.01 Y/A over the past five weeks? In the game before Tennessee, he had a Y/A of 8.4. Seems like a guy with noodle arm wouldn’t get better as the season progresses, no? 

And since it isn’t the dreaded noodle arm, or Brady forgetting how to throw a football, he’ll be fine. He made poor choices, forced the ball to Edelman even though he wasn’t open, and wasn’t able to cope with Gronk being out and Sony Michel easing himself back into game speed after a knee injury. That’s it. The guy has already thrown for 2,748 yards this season, which is good enough for fifth in the league. He’s allowed to have an off day. 

The Titans Played Their Asses Off

I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a shoutout to Tennessee for doing their due diligence and figuring out how to put a stop to one of the top 5 yard producing offenses in the game. Because as every team in the NFL knows, making Tom Brady look bad is hard to do. 

Mike Vrabel, Dean Pees and co. did a wonderful job disguising coverages, giving Brady unique looks and disrupting what the Patriots wanted to do. And that was mostly just get the ball to Edelman in the middle, but instead Tom had to attempt throws to Josh Gordon on the sideline, who is nursing a dislocated finger. 

Just look at this example from Mike Reiss as to how Tennessee made the Patriots protection fall apart: 


What Does Tom Brady Do Next?

Win football games. That’s what the man does.

He now has enough bulletin board material to wallpaper Gillette Stadium and so much bad tape to learn from he won’t have to check his DVR once during the upcoming bye week. 

If there is any QB I wouldn’t want to give a bad game tape to right before a bye week, it’s Brady. He’ll comb through the film, figure out why he was missing open receivers all day and come back stronger than ever.

So this Thanksgiving, enjoy time with your family, eat an extra helping of turkey and pray for the Jets. Because they’re about to get lit the f**k up by Tom “Noodle Arm” Brady. 

ready tom brady GIF by Beats By Dre

Mark was raised outside of Boston, so his favorite socks are red and the only Giants he'll ever like are the little ones. He is a michelada advocate and a big fan of 8 game parlays that never work. He has been writing about sports since starting his own blog in 2014, Don't Think Just Throw, and is excited to be a part of The Turf.

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