You made it! It’s finally the end of another work week. Sure, the weekend has lost a bit of its luster lately, but no work is still no work, even if it is just sitting at home doing nothing. I mean, unless you have kids or a family or responsibilities and if so, that’s a “you” problem.
Kirk Cousins, Master of The Media
This week, the most uninteresting man in the world, Kirk Cousins, finally said something interesting. Notice I didn’t say intelligent or surprising or even shocking. Here’s the quote:
What a rascal! In the most obvious reveal ever, Kirk has outed himself as an anti masker, if you will. There are a few things in this statement that are unintentionally hilarious. First, he basically sites Darwinism when he says ‘survival-of-the-fittest’ which is absolutely delicious considering he is a bible beater who 100% believes the earth is like 2,000 years old. If that wasn’t filling enough, he paraphrases Rocky IV with ‘if I die, I die.’ There is no chance he didn’t just watch that movie last night and think to himself, here’s a fly fresh bit to drop on the lads.’ I love it so much.
Full disclosure, I am a Vikings fan and that’s my quarterback. I’ve made my peace with the fact that he is not going anywhere and I just have to strap in and ‘enjoy’ the ride. How do I just accept that the quarterback of my favorite team is a creationist, anti-masking human piece of plywood?
Thinking About The Following Helps:
Kirk Cousins is the kind of guy that signs all his emails with ‘cheers’.
Kirk Cousins still double knots his shoe laces.
Kirk Cousins says the Pledge of Allegiance before and after sex.
Kirk Cousins is the kind of guy who will gleefully ask you, ‘workin hard or hardly workin?’ then immediately belly laugh.
Kirk Cousins still refers to his underwear as ‘underoos.’
Sure it’s juvenile but if you expected anything else from me this is clearly your first time. We all do what we have to in order to get by.
You Like That?
I sure do Kirk, I sure do.
- / 1 year ago
To me, Rachel Nichols is the personification of posting a black square on Instagram.