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You’re Not Mad at the Patriots, Your Team Just Sucks

Perhaps we need to look inward to discover why were’ truly mad about the Patriots…

Photo by Chris Plonka

You’re Not Mad at the Patriots, Your Team Just Sucks


Estimated Reading Time: 5 Minutes

I really hate to say this but if you roll your eyes, scoff, or say “f** the Patriots”… you might just be a hater. You should really take a good look into the mirror and accept the responsibility of hating the Patriots. It’s not a tough responsibility, it is pretty easy to acquire especially since Tom Brady and Bill Belichick have been at the helm.

I’m not going to lie to you, I myself, am a card holding member of the National Patriots Hating Society (NatPatHatSo). They make me so mad with their super bowl wins, timeless Tom Brady, “the Patriot way”, and their Hall of Fame head coach.

What also frustrates me is how they turn 6th and 7th round picks into 10-year veterans or how Gronk can continuously party and not suffer from a hangover. Incredible, but f**k you. I hate everything about the Patriots, but man, I respect them.

I’m a hater who can not deny the Patriots dominance in the National Football League.

You’re a hater too most likely and whether you like it or not you can not deny them of their accomplishments.

I have a feeling that if we had a chance to erase the last 18 years of the NFL and replay them, it would end pretty similar to what we have today. The truth is there have been many opportunities to knock the kings of their thrones but not one team has been able to put the nail in the coffin.

I mean there have been controversial calls that have gone their way like “Myles Jack Wasn’t Down” or the infamous “Tuck rule”. The Pats have made amazing comebacks in crucial moments, such as the 2017 Super Bowl game when they rallied from behind 28-3 to the Atlanta Falcons.

My point is

There have been many chances for us to say, that is enough. We have never closed the door, we have never dethroned them, none of us really.

There have been a few teams over the last 18 years to give the Patriots some bumps along the way. Teams like the Giants, Steelers, and Seahawks have had moments of success. They are the only teams that I can think of that have attained and maintained NFL success. However, those teams have flickered in and out, their constant fluctuating is not similar to the consistency of the Patriots

I have a question for you, though

Do you really hate the Patriots or do you hate your very own middle of the road team. It is a question that I constantly wrestle with. Do I really hate the Patriots success and the fact that Tom Brady wears UGGS or am I just a sour Jags fan. Unfortunately, I’m the latter, a fan of a mediocre team that happens to be jealous of the Patriots. I wish it were not that way but I don’t see any other logical answer.

How about for poops and giggles we compare the The Patriots with a “middle of the road” team. I’ll give you a hint, for my own ego, I will not compare the Jags to the Patriots. Instead, I will use a team with an even better track record, a team that has been a bit up and down but middle of the pack none the less. I will list a few key stats focusing on each teams accomplishments over the last 18 years because… that is when this purgatory really began.

2001-2019

  • Super Bowl wins- Patriots 5(+1?), Random Team 0
  • Super Bowl Appearances- Patriots 9, Random Team 0
  • Conference Championships- Patriots 9, Random Team 0
  • Conference Championship Appearances- Patriots 13, Random Team 2
  • Playoff Appearances- Patriots 16, Random Team 6
  • Playoff Record- Patriots 29-10(+1?), Random Team 3-6
  • Division Champions– Patriots 16, Random Team 4
  • 10+ Win seasons- Patriots 17, Random Team 5
  • Head Coaches- Patriots 1, Random Team 4
  • Starting QBs (at least 2 games)- Patriots 5, Random Team 17
  • NFL MVP- Patriots 3, Random Team 1
  • Super Bowl MVP- Patriots 5, Random Team 0

I’m sure you get the picture? If you can’t tell from these incredible accomplishments, well then I really can not continue naming anymore Patriots triumphs. I would begin to become ill, just looking at the above comparison is nauseating. That team compared to the Patriots is so bad.

You’re not alone

You may be worried that is your team. Its ok, all of us feel this way if we are telling the truth. None of our teams compare to the Patriots at least for the last 18 years. They have been doing it for so long that their playoff mantra this year is “We’re still here.”

For close to two decades we have had the Patriots absolutely owning this league. This type of run of success has never happened in the NFL. Many teams have gone onto pretty extensive runs of success, such as the Steelers of the 1970’s, 49ers of the 1980’s, Cowboys of the 1990’s. Those runs have been a decade at the most, sometimes only 5 years.

You see, we have had the Patriots continuously shoved down our throats and it’s our own faults. It’s our 17+ Starting Quarterbacks in 18 years. It’s our five seasons of 10+ wins in 18 years. It’s our 6 playoff appearances and 3-6 playoff record in 18+ years. We only have our team owners, front offices and head coaches to blame. It hurts to admit it but it’s true. We as a league have historically not been good enough to keep up with the Pats.

So who was the random team?

The random team listed next to those daunting Patriots feats is actually the Minnesota Vikings. Yeah, they are a middle of the road team, but the truth is if we compared even some of the other Super Bowl franchises (Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York Giants, Green Bay, Seattle etc) over the last 18 years it still would not be comparable to what Brady and company have put together through that span.

I’m not saying any of this to change the way you view the Patriots, all I’m saying is winning cures everything and we all need to start winning for us to cure this hate in our heart.

Enjoy this Super Bowl and either rejoice in a Rams victory or appreciate the dominance of the Patriots. At the end of the day, your team probably is not in the big game. Also, if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying and the Patriots sure are trying harder than most.

Baltimore made me. Duval raised me. New York saved me. I'm a Jags fan for life and don't ever disrespect it. I'm Duval Til' We Die #DTWD. Florida Gators over everybody. Dodgers to win it all. Since moving to NYC I have become a Brooklyn Nets fan and am still trying to pick a hockey team. Those are my main rooting interest. I'm the head NFL Writer for the Turf. You can also catch me on Amplified Network where I co-host a podcast called "60 minute suspension" highlighting all off field activity covering all sports. I'm also a very big hip hop fan. You may find some rhymes from my favorite songs in my writing.

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