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Urban Meyer Remains A Snake

Urban Meyer had a chance to feign remorse and blew it, of course.

Urban Meyer by Harrison Diamond is licensed under CC BY SA-3.0

Urban Meyer Remains A Snake

Estimated Reading Time: 2 Minutes

Snakes stay snakes.

Last night, Urban Meyer delivered one of the most arrogant and pathetic public statements he possibly could have given.

We won’t rehash the details of the investigation and how it began.  But as the investigation into Meyer’s role in the cover-up of former assistant coach Zach Smith’s abuse of his wife Courtney Smith dragged on, and tidbits of information from the investigation came out, you got the feeling Ohio State was “investigating” the ways to adequately explain the inevitable retaining of Meyer as head coach.  As opposed to, you know, looking into the idea that he flagrantly turned his head at best, and likely helped extensively in keeping it out of the public.

That is exactly what occurred on Wednesday.  Ohio State slapped Urban Meyer with a VICIOUS suspension of three games that is sure to teach Meyer a lesson about the seriousness of domestic abuse.  The same organization that fired their previous demigod under NCAA pressure, Jim Tressel, for covering up the much more deplorable crime of not tattling IMMEDIATELY on kids selling merchandise to have some money in their pocket.  The sense to be made of this, which is none, is a whole other subject.

So it’s fair to say that however you want to classify Meyer’s luck to this point, you would think he would be grateful to have skirted by with his job.  That he would be remorseful for what happened to Courtney. Perhaps, in this instance, he could set aside his powerful narcissism and remember that being a football coach at a damn college doesn’t make you above reproach.  

No sir.  Meyer slithered into the press conference in his most slithery, greasy skin.  

And when the most important question was asked–the one he absolutely needed to nail to sell any of this bullshit slap on the wrist he was receiving–he hissed this answer:

That is the answer of a man that has no remorse, and believes he is a victim.  He believes he did nothing wrong. The whole press conference was delivered on the emotional level that a child gives to their younger sibling when forced to apologize by their mom for playing with their favorite toy.  

Is it unbelievable that the snake that slithered his way out of coaching a mediocre Florida Gators team in January 2011 due to “health concerns” only to don a new, red skin in Ohio 10 months later, would still be slithery and spineless seven years later? Not at all.  I’d say many expected it.

What does it mean? It means what it always has.  To me at least.

It means Urban Meyer can go to hell.  Or at least back to the nest he came from.

Indianapolis born and bred, with love dispersed in uneven and shifting portions between the Indiana Pacers, Indianapolis Colts, and Atlanta Braves. Believer and ambassador of the phrase "Don't Be a Hero." Often wish I had never gotten into sports while simultaneously proclaiming sports is the greatest thing in life--it doesn't have to make sense but it's true.

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