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I’m Going to Have to Hate Watch “All or Nothing: Tottenham Hotspur”

The fact is that I won’t be able to look away.

New White AHrt Lane by BlueJam is licensed under CC BY SA-4.0

I’m Going to Have to Hate Watch “All or Nothing: Tottenham Hotspur”


Estimated Reading Time: 2 Minutes

The struggles of being a Tottenham fan have long been documented. The club has managed only one major trophy in the past 15 years and hasn’t been crowned champions of England’s top flight since 1961.

Under Mauricio Pochettino, Spurs climbed to new heights, becoming a perennial Champions League presence, and somehow making it all the way to the final last year. So what does the club do?

It signs a deal for a docu-series with Amazon Prime Video

It would be one thing if the 2019/2020 season had started in a familiar way. Taking some points, dropping some points, yet still hanging around the Top 5 with a legitimate path to the Top 2. That seemed to be the cyclical motion the club was destined for over the 6-year spell that Poch was in charge.

Then they sign a deal with Amazon and the bottom falls out. They drop down to 14th, lose their title hopes earlier than I’ve ever seen, fire Poch, bring in Jose fucking Mourinho, and a global pandemic hits.

I’m not saying the state of the world is due to the fact that Levy thought an Amazon deal was a good financial decision. But I’m not saying it’s not the reason we’ve been completely upended.

Okay, Kevin, calm down. Maybe it’ll give some insight into the club itself. This is Tottenham. Your club.

Sure. Sure. That’s absolutely possible. I was ready to relive a nightmare I’d rather not relive, but hey that’s show-biz, right? Or something…I don’t know.

I’d resigned myself to the fact that I was going to hate watch this show for the sake of the bit of positivity the end of the season showed. The country is locked down, football returns, Spurs start…winning? Of course, it happens behind closed doors.

Then the advertising for the series comes out, and Jesus Christ, Jose is everywhere. Now I don’t want it to be released. I don’t need my eyes to see what they’re going to see. My heart can’t take it. My soul is fragile enough.

But alas, I’m going to watch Prime Video likely drool over the savior that has come to Tottenham to rescue the club from their lack of trophies. He’s going to be so self-masturbatory in front of the cameras, I know it.

If you hear screaming coming from the general vicinity of Brooklyn, it’s just me. And you know why.

Kevin is an actor, director, playwright, and musician who works in tech and lives in Brooklyn. He is die hard New England sports and an avid Tottenham supporter. His qualifications include scoring 1 point in his elementary school basketball career, 4 years of mixed little league results, and breaking his arm with a skip-it days before pre-season workouts started for Freshman football.

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