Premier league week 5 review.
Week 5 is in the books. Most of the match results played out as expected. City won, as did Chelsea. They are clearly the two best teams in the league. So let’s just set them aside this week, yea?
Mike, if you are reading this…
Newcastle lost again, beat by Arsenal 2-1. They are still winless. They are hopeless. At this point, I feel bad for their fans. They have a good manager in Benitez. The problem lays directly at the feet of their atrocious owner Mike Ashley. Mik,e if you are reading this, dude, sell the team. Find another way to spend your time.
Yoooo are Bournemouth for real? They trounced a solid Leicester City side 4-2, giving up a few late goals to mask the total spanking The Cherries handed out to The Foxes. Captain Wes Morgan was sent off in the 69th minute for Leicester, but that didn’t even matter. They were already down 3-0. Bournemouth now sit fifth in the table, above the likes of Arsenal, Manchester United, Tottenham, and Everton. Each one of those teams have players that cost more than the ENTIRE BOURNEMOUTH side. If you are looking for an underdog team to root for the rest of the way. Look no further.
Line up the open top buses, West Ham finally won! A club that spent a ton of money in the summer and who looked lifeless through the first four weeks, found the cure to their sickness. That cure, Richarlison-less Everton. Its clear Everton are going to only go as far as Richarlison takes them. He missed the game due to his previous red card. Andriy Yarmolenko got his first PL start, his first PL goal (and 2nd goal), and pushed The Hammers to their first win. I’m betting he gets some more playing time moving forward, they need a spark, and he might just be it.
The supposed game of the week, saw a Liverpool squad beat what looks like a tired Spurs team 2-1. Liverpool didn’t look great, but Tottenham looked worse. Physically they didn’t press with the same vigor that they are typically known for. More glaring though was their mental fatigue. The mid-field diamond of Dembele, Dier, Winks, and Eriksen never found any flow, giving up the ball that lead directly to some supreme chances and ultimately a goal. Spurs also again gave up a goal from a corner, what continues to be an issue for this team highlights their lack of mental strength at the moment. Liverpool will be fine, they had their foot off the gas at the end, gave up a late goal, but were most likely already looking toward their Champions League match up with PSG.
Goal of the week goes to Southhampton’s Pierre-Emile Højbjerg. Don’t make me pronounce his name, but Højbjerg scored an absolute Thunder Bastard of a goal, in their win over Brighton. I love a good Thunder Bastard. It’s the type of goal that no one is expecting to happen, the commentator always loses their mind, and it gets better with every replay. It’s the equivalent of a rim rocking slam dunk from the baseline, or a home run that goes up and seemingly never comes down. Of any action, if given the chance to do, smashing a baseball 500 feet and scoring a Thunder Bastard would top my list. Also Thunder Bastard is really fun to say.
Week 6 Preview
Looking ahead to Week 6, our game of the week is the early morning game on Sunday. West Ham, fresh off their first win of the season host top of the table, and London rival Chelsea. Chelsea riding high off of their thumping of Cardiff City, will look to put on a clinic against their local rivals. Can West Ham pump the breaks on Chelsea’s season? It should be a good one, prediction 3-2 Chelsea.
- / 1 month ago
Calling all degenerates! Welcome to the life of turmoil and fading glory.