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Middle of Monday Musings: Shut Up and Drivel

Middle of Monday Musings: Shut Up and Drivel


Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes

Hey y’all, it’s Justin. Ned’s off playing Dungeons and Dragons in Indiana at GenCon, and while that sounds dope as hell, it means you’re stuck with me for this week’s Sunday Morning Musings… which are now happening on Monday. I know, I get it. It’s not ideal, but like… what are you gonna do? It’s not like you could have done it! But if you want to… we’re always looking for new writers.

Anyway, let’s muse.

Faster Than A Speeding Bullet… Or The Most Decorated Olympian Of All Time

This past week ten-year-old swimmer by the name of CLARK KENT APUADA broke Michael Phelp’s 100m Butterfly Record at the Far West International Championship. There’s a lot of important things happening here so let’s break them down.

First off…

CLARK. KENT.

COME ON. Normally, I’m not about this coincidental names and have been known to throw some side-eye to the parents who pull nonsense like this. You’re going to name your kid CLARK KENT APUADA, like Superman CLARK KENT, and then just demand greatness from the get-go? Nah, you can’t do that. You can’t name your kid Teddy Ballgame and then not expect him to hit above .400, you set the kid up to fail.

However, CLARK KENT APUADA DOESN’T FAIL. This is the insane part of this story, not the kid’s name or his age, although those are legit insane, it’s the time CLARK KENT APUADA recorded that truly takes the insanity cake. Phelp’s record stood at 1:10.48, a solid time for a youth swimmer, because duh it’s a record.

CLARK KENT? 1:09.38. THAT’S A FULL SECOND FASTER THAN PHELPS. THIS KID IS INSANE.

While CLARK KENT won’t be eligible for the Olympics until the 2028 Games in Los Angeles, there’s no reason we won’t be hearing about him sooner rather than later. This kid is a star.

O-H-N-O State

I’m sure Justin White is going to cover this in the near future, but here’s what he wrote to all of us in our writer’s room this week:

The NCAA has a real problem with coaches. Urban Meyer will be fired for what he knew but still lied about at media day. He says he took the right steps but honestly who knows. If you’re Ohio State he’s more of a problem at this point than anything. The school will be fine but it seems like this always happens with coaches. Hugh Freeze resigned because he lied about using university time and money to call escort services. Sandusky, Art Briles, the list probably goes on and on.

For those of you who don’t know what we’re talking about, here’s a quick rundown.

Ohio State has officially announced that they have opened an investigation into head coach Urban Meyer’s handling on a domestic abuse complaint made about one of his assistant coaches in 2015. On July 24th, Meyer said that he knew nothing about the domestic issues that assistant coach Zack Smith had during his six years with Meyer.

That would prove to be a lie. Last week, Courtney Smith provided text messages to Brett McMurphy, a college football reporter, that show she had told Meyer’s wife about the years of abuse in detail.

Meyer then released this statement:

Who is telling the truth? Who should take the blame? All we know is that regardless of what’s going to come out, OSU and the NCAA aren’t going to do a damn thing about it in the long run. How do we know that? As Justin says above: “The school will be fine but it seems like this always happens with coaches. Hugh Freeze resigned because he lied about using university time and money to call escort services. Sandusky, Art Briles, the list probably goes on and on.”

Shut Up and Drivel

We’ll have a piece done by Ben Salus coming on this week about LeBron’s new school, but the bigger headline is that Donald Trump came out attacking Don Lemon and LeBron James for being stupid (#DogWhistle), despite the fact that he opened a school and is actively giving back to communities in need.

Flint, MI, doesn’t have clean water, but by all means, Mr. President, let me hear your thoughts on Lebron James.

Because I don’t think it’s worth your time, and as Andrew Mark Wilhelm said in our writer’s room “I was much happier when this was just a story about a stand up athlete doing something incredible for his community,” and also F**K TRUMP, here are some of the Twitter responses to the Presidents tweets.

Throwing Heat and Throwing Punches

This past weekend was the 25th anniversary of arguably the best baseball brawl in history. Take a look.

While this is easily one of the most well-known baseball fights in the history of the game, does it top the 2003 ALCS brawl between the Red Sox and Yankees?

Or the 2004 brawl that was ignited by A-Rod and Varitek? Let us know in the comments, on our Facebook page, and on Twitter!

Justin Colombo is a 2017 Broadway Show Softball League All-Star at 3B/SS. He's essentially the Manny Machado of the Kinky Boots team. Justin has been writing about Baseball since he was a little kid. Now that being an actor in NYC has given him a lot of free time, in 2015 he decided to take his passion public and founded Three Up, Three Down as a way to express his love for the game. From there, Three Up, Three Down grew from a hobby to an obsession. After years of growth and one insult from MLB's Historian, Justin launched The Turf, a way to expand into all areas of the sporting world. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter. LET'S. GO. METS.

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