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All Star Analysis Episode 3 – Chirps, Cellys and Snoozetown

Tonight, a milestone is achieved and we decorate a hotel room. No, I don’t know why either.

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All Star Analysis Episode 3 – Chirps, Cellys and Snoozetown


Estimated Reading Time: 4 Minutes

Welcome back, All Stars.  Picking up from last week, the Queens gather to discuss Shea’s winning lip sync against Alyssa Edwards and the unanimous group vote to send Onigina home.  You’re caught up, they’re caught up.  On to the new challenge.

For some unspecified reason, tonight’s challenge involves the Queens decorating and demonstrating a hotel suite.  I can’t even begin to tell you how bland and not funny this challenge was.  It’s a recycle of All Stars 4’s club night promotion challenge which, at least on the surface, relates to a drag queen’s potential career trajectory.  What Drag Queens are out there shilling for hotels.com?  If you know, please tell me; I would like to Venmo them a tip so they can stop that.

Moving Right Along

I’m literally so opposed to the concept of the maxi challenge that I am skipping it entirely.  So now we’re at the runway, everyone.  The runway theme was three looks in one, and let me tell you, some Queens did not understand the challenge.  To quote Michelle Visage, “taking off a jacket is not a look.”  Miz Cracker, Blair St Clair, and Jujubee had my top favorite looks and the other Queens were there.

I beg of you, click this and see the thread.

Celly Ferda!

The biggest celebration of tonight is that Jujubee wins the challenge. This is her first-ever maxi challenge win across the three seasons in which she has competed.  So, she goes up against secret lip sync assassin Monet X Change, the co-winner of All Stars 4 and host of the X Change Rate which I highly recommend if you want to watch a hilarious drag queen host a talk show.  Now, Jujubee herself is a lip sync assassin (and in Untucked reminds us that she sent home Sahara Davenport, Pandora Boxx & Tatianna on Season 2 and Manila Luzon on All Stars 1), so I was damn well prepared for a fight.  Incredibly, Jujubee kinda phoned in her lip sync to Lizzo’s Juice and Monet won the damn thing.  Well, I guess that’s $20K for the next queen. 

Monet reveals that of Mariah, India and Shea (F***ING Shea was in the bottom), most of the queen votes went to Mariah, and she is the latest queen to sashay away.  The votes were kind of startling: Jujubee selected Mariah, and the jury voted 4 for Mariah, 2 for Shea and 1 for India.  There were a couple of Queens trying to “Manila” Shea out of this competition which should make the top of next week’s episode juicy.

From a Tweet to a Chirp

I want to touch on something that happened throughout tonight’s episode.  If you’re familiar with hockey, you’re likely to have heard the term “chirping”.  It’s just a colloquial term for taunting your opponents from the bench.  It’s a common way for teams to get under their opponent’s skins or into their heads.  Tonight, it appeared that Alexis Mateo was chirping her way into Miz Cracker’s skull. 

Alexis started off running at the top of the episode by goading Cracker about her intentions behind telling Ongina that she wanted to write-in eliminate her on the first episode.  While not letting Cracker get two words in, Alexis kept driving into her that she thought she was playing mind games and that she declared that she wants to know exactly who each competitor is and what they stand for.  I’ll be honest here: what Alexis is accusing Cracker of doing is exactly what Alexis herself is doing.  And it’s kind of a masterpiece but it’s also cunning.

What you chose to do when you’re the recipient of the chirps is how you’re going to play the game.  You can let it get into your head, like Ongina did last week and like Cracker started to do this week.  Alternatively, you can let it galvanize you and force your hand into doing the best you can and gunning for victory.  Like Cracker tried to afterwards.  And you can see that she landed herself right in the middle.  With Alexis.  Sickening, no?

Next week, the Queens become paparazzi and their cannon fodder.  Some aim the cannon at me because if this season continues to feel like filler, I’m going to need to be blasted out of here.

Actor and stage manager with a recurring case of the gay and an insatiable love for numbers all dem Bruins doe. Why else am I on this site?

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