Picking up at the end of Alexis’ startling elimination, the girls gather and discuss the votes from last week. No surprise that it was a near unanimous vote, with one vote for Blair from Alexis. With Alexis gone, the top four strongly skews towards a clear top 3 and this week’s cannon fodder. In my heart of hearts, I know Blair is getting eliminated. I just know it. This is the All Stars finale I need.
This week’s maxi challenge is a stand-up challenge in front of a live studio audience. Because she won last week’s episode, Cracker chooses the order. Cracker comes right out and says she wants to eff the girls up with the order. She puts Jujubee first, followed by Blair, then herself, then Shea. She feels that first up is the hardest, doesn’t think Blair can follow Jujubee, that she’ll look incredible following Blair and then Shea closing will be the worst possible position for her. The delightful shade.
No one is having an easy time writing anything, which is weird because Juju & Shea are naturally funny, and comedy is Cracker’s shtick. Blair is, once again, there. To the main stage, the girls find comedy coaches Ross Matthews and one of this week’s guest judges, Jane Krakowski! I have missed this woman on my TV and am so glad she’s here coaching the gals.
Don’t Tell Me I’m Wrong…
Now, here’s where the editors have me confused. Jujubee does fine in her coaching, and Shea is surprisingly reticent. Jane, actually, encourages Shea to make fun of Sasha beating her because it would mean that she’s owning the moment. Laughing at it would allow her to own it. I hope she takes that advice. Ok, so the weird part is that Cracker is a mess. I’m starting to worry. More worrisome is that Blair was good. Like, damn good. Do I have this wrong? Is Blair the dark horse of the competition? We shall see.
And, just like the last segment, the editors got me again. Firstly, they kept in Werk Room footage of Shea having nervous burps prior to getting ready, which is just delightful. But at the same time, Shea is a lady, how dare you. After several Tums, I assume, we make it to the mainstage for the challenge. Jujubee has a rough start but eventually finds her groove and ends strong. Blair is up, and I’m ready for her to knock it out of the park. Instead, she fouled. Hard. Whiffed it real bad. Like, nothing landed and she wasn’t off book and it’s all sorts of bad.
On the Upswing
Cracker is up and she NAILED it. Actively crushed it. Depression: cured; crops: watered; life: meaningful. And then Shea keeps the momentum and it’s even more life-affirming. All in all, the editors had me in the first half and then my predictions slowly started to realize themselves. Since I’m on such a hot streak, I predict this is Cracker’s third win, depending on the runway.
On the runway, category is Ah Freak Out. In summary, all the queens lewks were impressive. I must shout out Cracker’s Plague Doctor inspired look and also ask her why she was out there predicting this spring/summer last year. So, my hot streak continues with Cracker getting her third win, leaving Shea, Jujubee and Blair up for elimination. Life isn’t fair.
The final lip sync assassin this season is Kennedy Davenport! I am so ready for the stunts. She is the dancing diva of Texas and I’ve got the popcorn ready! The lip sync song is… Fancy by Reba MacIntyre? Oh producers, if ever there was a #strongchoicewrongchoice, it’s this one right here. Well, Cracker has done it and she wins another $20,000. And in a surprise to no one in particular, Cracker eliminates Blair and all is right in the world.
That is, until it isn’t. Or at least it’s confusing. We have a Top 3, but then there’s an old-school rotary phone on the judging panel. The phone rings and Ru answers but explains nothing. Confusion. Concern. Tiredness. One more twist? Why the hell not. Next week, the top three will write lyrics to a new Ru song called Clap Back, and one of them will be inducted into the Drag Race Hall of Fame. Oh, and the eliminated queens are back for a mid-episode bitch fest. I can’t wait to see how this turns out.
Are you Team Jujubee, Team Miz Cracker or Team Shea Coulee? Find out who wins next week!
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