Please forgive me. I’ve had a hell of a year this week. You lucky ducks get two episodes in one article! Tonight, we recap episodes three and four. Double the challenges, shade & duct tape!
Canada’s Drag Race Episode 3 – Not Soory Aboot It
Episode three is titled “Not Soory Aboot It”. Please think of me, think of me fondly, now that I’ve said goodbye. After Kyne’s expected exit, the girls talk about what lies ahead. Tynomi says she’s not taking any prisoners. I say ok, girl. It’s all well and good to say you’re going to do something – go out and do it. Yeesh.
In the Werk Room, the queen’s meet Canada’s Drag Race’s best squirrelfriend, Traci Melchior. A squirrelfriend is an ally to the gays and is pronounced exactly like you think it is. She will be popping in and out of the series to assist with challenges and support the queens. I love this. A permanent Werk Room guest star. She tells the girls that the mini-challenge will be working in pairs to audition for Canada’s first trilingual (English, French & DRAG) morning show, Canada GAY-M. The puns are coming in hot and heavy and I am just delighted.
And I Ally-oop!
This challenge was full on ridiculous. I loved every second of it and I want one in every color. Rita Baga destroyed the French, since she actually speaks French. The other queens trying French are hilariously wrong. It’s everything I’ve ever needed. Utlimately, Priyanka and Lemon’s team wins the challenge and they become team captains for the main challenge.
This week’s main challenge is a team-based rap battle called “Not Soory Aboot It”. It really doesn’t get old; I laugh every time. Team Priyanka is Rita, Bobo, Anastarzia and Ilona, who is last picked and most plucked about it. They call themselves The Mooseknuckles. Shaking. Team Lemon is Tynomi, Jimbo, Kiara and BOA, who name themselves The Dwolls. Less shaking.
What did you just call yourself?
Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman does the Werk Room walkthrough, and everyone is lusting after him, me included. In this segment, Lemon hits us with the fact that she’s a rapstress. I had to pause the video I was cackling so loudly. Once I got myself together, the queens go to the mainstage to record their raps with Ralph and learn the choreo by Hollywood Jade.
The Mooseknuckles appear to nail the rapping on the first try. Maybe Lemon was right all along. The Dwolls, however, struggle. And they struggle real, real hard. And then when the choreography happened, the roles swapped. To be fair, everyone felt uncomfortable, except for noted rapstress and actual dancer Lemon.
The drama begins
As the queens get ready for the runway, BOA detects that Scarlett may be having issues with BOA. And, on Scarlett’s side, the feeling is mutual. Jimbo suggests BOA clears the air with Scarlett before tensions implode. BOA decides to do so and approaches Scarlett. Scarlett says no thank you. Shady and polite. An America queen could never.
On the runway, we meet extra special guest host Deborah Cox. We are getting everything gay this week. The queens really got it together for the performances. They nailed 90% of the choreography and all the raps came out great. Following the performance, Category is Quebec-y with the Good Hair. It’s a big hair runway. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I really cannot get enough of the puns in this episode.
Tops & Bottoms
Stacey takes the lead on the judge’s panel this week. The queens are judged individually and there is a top & bottom seven this week. The tops are BOA, Priyanks & Scarlett Bobo. BOA’s look is stupid but it’s CORRECT. The judges also said she was a standout in the performance. Priyanka is told she has a perfect look and an amazing performance. Bobo is one of the runway standouts – she did hair on a body suit the best out of the girls.
The bottoms are Kiara, Tynomi Banks, Anastarzia & Ilona. Kiara is called out for everything being basic, which calls her taste level into question. Tynomi is praised as a great dancer but she missed lyrics and had a very, very, very bad look. The judges thought Anastarzia’s Cousin Itt look from behind was great, but it was very unclear what was happening up front. They also tell her she needs to loosen up and I could not agree more. Ilona gets called out for her bad dancing. The judges liked her look, but I hate it. She looked like an incorrect poodle. My guesses are that Priyanka wins and the bottom two are Tynomi & Ilona.
The Drama Finishes
While the judges deliberate, the girls are having Untucked time. Now Scarlett brings up her beef with BOA. Scarlett feels like BOA is using her as “target practice” and it’s throwing her off. Hopefully this is squashed so it stops affecting both of them. Back on the mainstage, I was two for three on outcomes. Priyanka does win, but the bottom two are Tynomi and Anastarzia. Stupid poodle.
The lip sync song is Absolutely Not by Deborah Cox. Wait one second, Tynomi was a backup dancer for Deborah Cox. I smell a stunt. Oh, here it is. Tynomi has a runway reveal under her awful runway that is a solid black weave on a bodysuit AND WHY WASN’T THAT YOUR RUNWAY FROM THE BEGINNING???????? SHE DESTROYED Anastarzia, who sashays away. Well, guess I was wrong about her winning. Shoot.
Canada’s Drag Race Episode 4 – Single Use Queens
Now, welcome back to the Werk Room. The girls discuss Anastarzia’s elimination and the fact that she didn’t leave a mirror message. Let’s be real, she sent a message by not leaving a message. Scarlett & BOA confirm that they are all good. We shall see. Priyanka thinks the Toronto queens are getting a wake-up call because they keep dropping like flies. Poor Raptors.
Ultimatums & Underwears
In some unseen footage, Brooke Lynn gave Tynomi an ultimatum that she needs to show the same fierceness in the challenges that she shows in the lip syncs. Tynomi says she doesn’t give a shit about the warning. Let me predict now this is her final week with us.
Stacey McKenzie brings in 10 Pit Crew boys for the mini challenge. Also, there’s a pit crew member with a belly and not a six pack. Come through body positivity! The mini challenge is a game of Concentration with the super-sized Pit Crew’s underwear. This is not the first time this game has been played, and it will not be the last. And for that I am eternally grateful. The goal is to get the most matches in the least amount of time. And the winner is Jimbo!
How’s your house?
The queen’s divide themselves into groups of three for the maxi challenge. This week’s maxi challenge is another design challenge. The queens will create a fashion line made entirely from recyclable materials. Jimbo, as winner, assigns the recycling bins. Jimbo Ilona & Tynomi take Paper and name themselves Maison Papier. Prinyanka BOA & Lemon get the Metal bin and name themselves the House of Rust. The Plastic bin goes to Rita, Kiara & Bobo who name themselves La Maison Boraga. They must each make a look but it must be cohesive within the team.
Remember when Bobo & BOA had beef last week? Now it seems that Ilona is coming for Bobo. What is it about Bobo that makes her friends want to turn on her? I can’t wait to see how this turns out. As a fun treat and assist to the challenge, Stacey takes the teams to the runway and gives them tips on how to walk a runway like a professional model. She’s an utter miracle worker and what a great concept having her do this.
Stomp the Runway
On the runway, Canadian fashion designer Biddell is the guest host who, naturally, has a reveal on the runway. The winning team is La Maison Boraga, and Rita Baga wins her second challenge. The post-apocalyptic plastic couture is all I ever wanted in my life. House of Rust is read for having vision but limited execution and cohesion. That said, Priyanka & Lemon got high marks while BOA was not praised. The Maison Papier team was given kudos for being cohesive as a unit, but Tynomi and Ilona were read for letting Jimbo outshine them. [Side Note: I wrote “ootshine” and considered letting the typo ride, but I am not Canadian and will let the girls say it for me.]
Tynomi almost breaks down on the runway and the judges tell her to shine and be herself. Still think this is her week to go. Jimbo gets positive critiques for her look but is read for not painting her arms to match her face & chest, for being too white (I chortled) and outshining the other team members. If I had my guesses, I would think it’s BOA and Tynomi lip syncing, but could also see Ilona subbing in for either spot. It would be a howl if Jimbo had to lip sync for being too good.
Eh, You. I don’t like your girlfriend.
Ilona & Tynomi are in the bottom two but I swear they were teasing the hell out of us with a three-way lip sync. Ilona feels like giving up because she “cares about her friendships more than her standing in some competition”. Malarkey. The judges coax her into performing, and so she and Tynomi lip sync against each other to Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend. My childhood!
Neither of these girls want to go home. They put up a HELL of a fight and their poor paper knight gowns don’t stand a chance. Ultimately, Ilona shantays and Tynomi sashays. The signs were there the whole episode. If only she had done better in the challenge, it would’ve been the comeback story of the year. Next week, Canadian Snatch Game! Hosted by Brooke Lynn Heights, who notoriously bombed her season’s Snatch Game as Celine Dion. I can’t wait to see if she references it! Til next time, huntys!
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