The Masked Singer: The Hippo Revealed to be NFL Superstar
On the pilot episode of The Masked Singer, the first contestent to be eliminated was none other than NFL Superstar [REDACTED]. Could you tell??
Here at The Turf, we’re no stranger to writing about reality game shows. The Masked Singer is now on the list.
You guys. I have been down the ultimate rabbit hole for the last couple of hours. You see, tonight FOX premiered its American adaptation of the hit South Korean show The Masked Singer. It is…beautiful? Horrifying? A train-wreck? A LSD trip gone wrong? Stunning in its absurdity? Yes. it is each of those things.
What is it?
The Masked Singer‘s concept is simple. A bunch of celebrities dress up in terrifying outfits that are impossible to move in and perform popular music before a panel of celebrity judges who were names drawn out of a hat of people who owed Fox Executive Chairman Rupert Murdock favors after losing bets on an illegal cockfighting ring run by Murdoch’s son and other Fox Executive Chairman Lachlan K. Murdoch. No one knows who the celebrity furries are until they are voted off the show, at which point they take off their mask. Throughout the competition, Clue videos are played where they give insight into themselves.
Before we get into it, however, let’s recap the South Korean version so we’re all on the same page.
We good? We all understanding this nightmare from which we all can’t wake?
Athletes on the show
Masked Singer Host Nick Cannon (which, real quick…Nick…you good? You okay? Because I could see you being a contestant on this kind of a show. But the host? Again?) says that behind these masks we have “Grammy Winners, Emmy Winners, and Hall of Fame Athletes.” Only one athlete is proven to be on the Stage (though one other seems overwhelmingly obvious…more at the end) because here’s the rub for week one, Antonio Brown was revealed to be none other than The Hippo.
Quick note. Wasn’t he already on Dancing With the Stars? C’mon, man. You get one while still active.
Missing in Week 17
Antonio Brown made headlines last week when he skipped work days with the team before arguably the biggest week of the year for the Steelers. They were eventually eliminated from the playoffs after the Cleveland Browns lost to the Baltimore Ravens in a way that felt oh so Cleveland Browns. (Side note, you think Hue Jackson laughed his ass off on that interception?) When you are fighting for a playoff spot, you show up to team events. You just do. I don’t care your beef with the coach, or your quarterback, or whatever. You’re not a superstar if you do that.
But for then to be fully available for this? The Masked Singer? If I were a Steeler’s fan, I’d be pissed. Aso
Check out this Clue video and tell me if you knew it was Antonio Brown.
If you say yes, I’m calling you a liar. There were exactly no clues in there to Antonio’s identity, though his profession became pretty obvious. I suppose it makes sense, it’s week 1 of The Masked Singer and they want to keep these celebrities a surprise until they are revealed so the clues can’t be TOO good. There were a bunch of things in this video that feel like clues that I didn’t understand.
For instance the $10,000 bill. Is that a reference to something? Or are they just saying he’s rich? It seemed super specifically highlighted.
Look, Antonio Brown did better on that stage as a performer than I would do on an NFL field at Wide Receiver. So I can’t knock it. But I will say that overall I think the camerawork on ALL the performances on The Masked Singer could have been better. This is like the 8 millionth singing reality show, they should have learned some stuff from the other success stories. Anyways, here’s AB performing Mr. BB himself, Bobby Brown.
This just in. We got this exclusive shot of Mike Tomlin after everything went down:
Twitter and the internet seem pretty sure that The Deer is Ben Roethlisberger. It would seem unlikely (and frankly lazy) to me that of the 8 contestants on a show, 2 of them are from the Pittsburgh Steelers. However Nick Cannon DID say there was a “Hall-of-Fame Athlete” in the roster. And AB’s not in Canton. It’s not even a lock that he will be, honestly. Though more than likely. So here’s the clues to The Deer, and you tell me if you can solve this question:
So what do you think? Ben Roethlisberger? Someone else? My personal guess? I kept thinking Peyton Manning, but then I remembered the Nationwide ads. And in the clue video it says that we’ll finally hear his voice. SO THAT’S NOT IT.
Guys I’m invested. I’ll be here every week. Join me.
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